Physical intimacy creates feelings of safety, security and self-worth.
“ The relationship between my partner and I was so tense and fraught with fear of being criticized that I resisted any physical contact. The more my partner complained the more anxious I became. Psychotherapy with Dr. Raymond helped us talk about the meaning of affection and physical intimacy in our relationship. We learned to speak about our fears of being let down, judged and compared to other people in our past. I regained my desire for physical intimacy once our relationship felt safer and more accepting. We now enjoy physical intimacy as part of a deepening relationship” Forty-six year old movie producer.
Are you frustrated that your relationship lacks the physical intimacy of affection like hand holding, hugging and kissing, or cuddling on the sofa watching television?
Do you feel you have to earn affection and physical intimacy with your partner?
Are you frustrated and upset that when you want physical intimacy and affection your loved does not?
Maybe your sex life is non-existent or lacking the emotional connection that you need to make it meaningful and fulfilling.
Physical intimacy is a crucial part of any relationship. When you touch someone whether it be in a greeting, for comfort and reassurance or a sense of belonging, you release hormones like oxytocin that cement bonds that make love and care flow. Touch reduces stress and makes it easier for you to share yourself and be available for loved ones to do the same.
If you are afraid of being judged or brushed aside you won’t feel like reaching out for physical intimacy.
Psychotherapy can help you overcome the anxiety, tension and hurt that prevent physical intimacy by:
1. Guiding you to put your anxieties and fears about the relationship into words so that the withdrawal of affection and sex don’t become the weapons of choice to show your feelings.
Benefit: you get past the bad feelings in the moment, so that it doesn’t build up and cause sexual problems like erectile dysfunction in men, and loss of libido or painful intercourse in women.
2. Helping you communicate what you imagine your loved ones think and feel about you, so you can get feedback and understand each other’s needs.
Benefit: you don’t harbor resentments. You have an incentive to come together and show understanding, compassion, curiosity, sympathy and desire to bond again with affection and physical intimacy as the glue.
3. Teach you how to use touch as a form of affection and physical intimacy that is playful, respectful and relaxing.
Benefit: you will be able to lessen the frequency and intensity of conflict, misunderstandings and ‘stand offs’ by having more playful physical intimacy.
4. Show you what to look for in your loved ones that indicates their need for affection and physical intimacy.
Benefit: you will be able to develop a sense of receptiveness or longing for affection and physical intimacy that is not overt or put into words. You will be welcomed and enjoy the contact.
5. Teach you how to express your need for affection and physical intimacy in ways that don’t appear begging, manipulative, done out of duty, or demanding.
Benefit: the contact you receive will come out of desire. You and your loved ones will feel safe enough to let go, without fearing ulterior motives, judgment or worry that this ‘melting moment’ will be used against you later.
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
Call 310. 985. 2491 to set up your appointment
Learn how to give and receive affection and physical intimacy that you can trust and enjoy.