Intimacy

   Audio Tips
   Book on Fear of Intimacy
   Client Stories
   Commitment
   Disgust
   Emotional Intimacy
   Guilt
   Intimacy Quiz
   Partner Choice
   Physical Intimacy
   Shame
   Trust and Betrayal


Latest Articles

  • * Do You Have To Choose between Romance and a Good Mate?
  • * Your Rule About What Love is Can Bar You From Receiving it - part 10
  • * Rules About Who Makes You Happy, Makes You Angry and Envious -part 9
  • * Rules About What Makes Relationships Last Stop Them From Ever Starting -part 8
  • * Rules About Being Your Partner's Savior Harm Your Relationship - part 7
  • * Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner's Behaviour - part 5
  • * Rules About How You Should Express Your Needs Can Rupture Your Marriage- part 4
  • * Don't Ruin Your Marriage With Thorny Relationship Rules - part 3
  • * Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?
  • * Stop The Cycle of Attraction To The Wrong Person And Learn To Like The Right One!
  • * Why You Choose The Wrong Partner Over And Over Again - part 2
  • * Why You Keep Getting Attracted To The Wrong Person- part 1
  • * How To Avoid The Stress When Your Spouse Nags At You For Being Unresponsive
  • * Regaining Your Sense of Security When Your Relationship Feels Unstable
  • * Are you ashamed of your relationship and hide it from family and friends?
  • * Continual Separating and reuniting doesn't have to threaten your relationship!
  • * How perfectionism turns you into a liar to yourself and your loved ones
  • * How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication
  • * How to be happy in a relationship by tuning into your partner's needs
  • * How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs
  • * How Do You Build Trust in a Relationship When You are Repeatedly Let Down?
  • * The Main Barrier to Communication in Marriage is Fear of Listening Empathically
  • * Self-Compassion Makes You the Partner You Want to be Toward Your Loved One
  • * How to Get What You Want From Your Valentine
  • * Where to Find a Boyfriend When the Current One is No Good?
  • * Is Family Conflict Making a Friend Out of One Loved One and an Enemy of Another?
  • * Breaking Up Doesn't Have To Be so Hard To Do!
  • * Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!
  • * Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems
  • * Self-help For Couples That Actually Works!
  • * Expressing Hurt Saves Relationships While Anger Causes Relationship Breakups
  • * Getting The Most Out of Couples Counseling
  • * Sharing Emotions Promotes Bonding That Supports You In Crisis
  • * How To Make Your Boyfriend Love You More and Find a Husband In Him
  • * Should You Leave Your Partner or Stay Hoping They Will Love You One Day!
  • * Save Your Marriage By Letting In Your Partner's Support
  • * How To Trust In Relationships
  • * Save Your Marriage With Impactful Communications
  • * What Makes You Push Your Partner Away and Choose Depression and Loneliness?
  • * Dealing With a Partner Who Cannot Trust You and Insists You Are a Cheater
  • * Conflict Recovery Style Determines Whether Couples Stay Together
  • * Where Is Your Spouse When There Is No Response To Your Texts And Calls?
  • * Conflicting Secret Wishes And Motives Threaten Your Marriage Big Time!
  • * How To Deal With a Partner Who Lies And Cheats
  • * Do You Feel Abandoned When Your Partner Is With Family And Friends?
  • * Dealing With a Loved One Who Refuses To Talk When You Want To
  • * Why Women Take Longer Than Men To Cheer Up After Getting In A Fight or Bad Mood.
  • * Getting Proof That Your Partner Is Committed To You
  • * A Proven Way To Stop The Stress Of Conflict And Reconnect With Your Loved One
  • * How To Tell If Your Partner Is Showing Genuine Love Or Not
  • * How To Make Sure Your Date Turns Into a Positive Intimate Healthy Relationship.
  • * Do You Suffer In Silence In Order To Prove Your Love?
  • * How To Feel Included When You Feel Alone In a Group
  • * How To Transition Between Loved Ones Without Feeling Insecure
  • * Enjoying The Now Relationships Instead Of Waiting For Some Future Pleasure
  • * White Lies And Whoopers Make You Sick, Depressed And Cut Off From loved Ones.
  • * Why Your Ideal Of A Perfect Marriage Causes Your Finance To Break Off The Engagement
  • * How To Avoid Feeling Attacked When Your Partner Is Venting!
  • * Keeping Silent About Your Stress Ensures Your Partner is Emotionally Unavailable To You
  • * How To Prove That You Are Not The Same As Your Partner's Exes!
  • * Do You Regret Rejecting a Possible Partner and Ending Up Alone and Scared?
  • * The Two Most Serious Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
  • * Why 9 out of 10 Apologies Fail to Improve Relationships
  • * Five Ways to Find and Keep Available Partners Without Sabotaging Yourself!
  • * Four Ways To Deal With A Hostile And Aggressive Partner
  • * Ensure Your Relationship Against a Loss of Intimacy and Commitment!
  • * End Those Dreaded Fights And Enjoy Peaceful Relationships
  • * How to Manage The Guilt Of Saying 'No' To Your Partner!
  • * How to make sure your relationship makes it past the initial romance
  • * How to deal with a loved one who texts others while in your company!
  • * How to recognize the 3 prerequisites of love and feel wanted!
  • * What's the secret to being liked and popular and wanted?
  • * How to feel wanted instead of rejected!
  • * Who controls your energy levels, you or your loved one?
  • * How to stop a conversation turning into a fight!
  • * How to bring the zing back into an "okay" sex life!
  • * How come the people you date haven’t got their acts together?
  • * How to enjoy health and intimacy over the holiday weekend
  • * How to get the most satisfaction from venting to loved ones!
  • * How to make your partner want to be physically intimate with you!
  • * How to make up after a fight without giving up!
  • * How to enjoy a relationship and protect yourself at the same time!
  • * How to find the love of your life
  • * Four alternatives to withdrawing from your romantic relationship
  • * How to survive a betrayal by a loved one
  • * How gender differences in handling stress affects intimacy
  • * Three ways to share your stuff without fear of upsetting loved ones.
  • * Are you making the right kind of investment in your happiness?
  • * Why your partner falls short of your ideal partner characteristics!
  • * The gift that will make your valentine love you for ever!
  • * Why it’s a good sign if your date doesn’t want to sleep with you
  • * Is your relationship break up permanent or just a shift in gears?
  • * How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!
  • * How to deal with a partner who is down when you are up!
  • * Why your Sex Life Goes from Fantastic to Boring in the blink of an eye!
  • * Positive affirmations can damage your relationships!
  • * Why your sex life is non-existant part 2- and how to get it going again.
  • * Why Your Sex Life Doesn't Work and Three Ways to Revive it!
  • * Why men shut down and women ramp up in conflicts!
  • * Why does your loved one believe a stranger and not you?
  • * How to rescue your marriage from roommate status!
  • * Why you don't feel understood when people say they understand- part 2
  • * How to avoid having your hopes dashed when you meet your loved one!
  • * Why protecting your partner may be the worst move you ever make!
  • * Perfectionism may be ruining your intimate relationships!
  • * How to get over that "there's no point" feeling!
  • * How does your style of eye contact impact relationship satisfaction?
  • * How to get off the emotional roller coaster with your partner
  • * What makes an exciting relationship turn into a heavy burden?
  • * How to manage the pain of jealousy
  • * How to get your partner to talk when you want!
  • * Is Your Style of Flirting Working For You?
  • * What makes your partner break promises?
  • * How to stop feeling used in relationships
  • * How to stop being lonely!
  • * How to be independent and still be loved!
  • * Are you dying for affection but cringe when it comes?
  • * How to deal with the "damned if I do, and damned if I don't situation!
  • * Do you have to give up your past in order to have a loving future?
  • * How to make your imagined relationship into a reality!
  • * How a bladder infection can save intimacy in your marriage!
  • * What’s the right combination of commitment for harmonious relationships?
  • * *(How to get affection on your schedule!)*
  • * *(How to manage when your partner loses interest in you!)*
  • * How to manage rejection sensitivity and be more open to love!
  • * *(How to be loved 24/7 even if you think you don't deserve it!)*
  • * What makes you happy - people or accomplishments?
  • * *(How to turn nagging into loving connections)*
  • * Is fear of being impactful depriving you of intimacy?
  • * How to deal with the “ if you really loved me you would……..” syndrome!
  • * *(How to get your partner to love you the way you want!)*
  • * What type of self-sacrifice benefits intimate relationships?
  • * *(How to converse with your date so you both feel special!)*
  • * How to stop using hoarding as your intimacy substitute!
  • * *(How to tell if loved ones mean what they say!)*
  • * How to manage fatigue due to relationship problems
  • * *(How to get your own way, avoid guilt and still feel lovable!)*
  • * How to get more by working less at relationships
  • * *(How to deal with negative reactions you didn't intend to cause!)*
  • * Four LOVE steps for singles to turn dates into long term relationships
  • * *(How to deal with complaining loved ones)*
  • * The secret ingredients for empathy in relationships - part 3
  • * *(How To communicate that you really care)*
  • * The second secret to being empathic and boosting your relationship
  • * *(How to Speak Your Mind Without Feeling Monstrous!)*
  • * Four Ways to Share Feelings and be Empathic -part1
  • * *(How to Avoid Conflict With A Dose of Curiosity)*
  • * 7 Ways to deal with feeling 'needy' in relationships- Part 3
  • * *(Top three personal gifts to give your valentine)*
  • * Three ways to avoid feeling needy in relationships- part 2
  • * Two ways to avoid the shame of feeling 'needy.'
  • * Three ways to prevent self-defeatism from causing relationship stress
  • * Four ways to reconnect when your partner snubs you
  • * Fear of Intimacy - Five Tell Tale Signs
  • * How to avoid the same mistakes after a break up
  • * Five ways to breach a misunderstanding with your partner
  • * Do you fit the four point profile of a cheater?
  • * How to deal with controlling people in your relationships
  • * Enjoying Intimacy Like You Did In The Early Days
  • * How to Make up After a Fight and Find Intimacy
  • psychotherapy for intimacy problems, Los Angeles

     

     

    Letting down your guard and sharing feelings creates emotional intimacy and trust


     

     

    "I was always hard for me to get close to anyone. I used to hide my true self and deny my feelings and needs to myself and others. I was lonely and unhappy. I didn’t want other people poking their nose into my business and I didn’t want to be burdened with their stuff. Psychotherapy with Dr. Raymond helped me realize that I had put a thick frame around myself through which nothing could penetrate. I learned how to make the frame strong enough to protect me from being hurt, but pliable enough to let me reach out for connections. It was amazing that the people I cared for wanted to get close because they enjoyed me, not because they wanted to use me. Now I can move in and out of my frame as it suits me. I can be emotionally intimate and let others be so with me. I have many warm and solid connections and better relationships with family and friends.”  Personal organizer.

    Do you want to feel close to and part of a loved one yet fear it at the same time?


    Do you want your partner and other loved ones to know and understand and accept you while still feeling the need to protect yourself from being exposed?


    Does the idea of someone knowing you inside out fill you with fear of being an open book, with nothing personal and private to call your own?

     

    If you are more comfortable communicating by phone, texting or email than face to face, it is likely that emotional intimacy may be something you want to control.

     

    Perhaps you find it easier to tolerate face to face contact when everyone is engaged in specific activities where you can still have your private inner space.

     

    Controlling emotional intimacy by restricting or managing face to face contact keeps you safe.

     

    But you may be paying a high price.

     

    You can end up feeling alone and insignificant even when you are with loved ones.

     

    Psychotherapy can help you achieve the right amount of emotional intimacy in your relationships by:

    1. Helping you develop an inner sense of personal safety so that you can share yourself without feeling invaded or intruded upon.

    Benefit:
    you share thoughts, feelings, and wishes without shame or concern about being judged or manipulated.

    2. Showing you how to create and use personal boundaries that are flexible and porous.

    Benefit:
    you allow friends and loved ones to reach out and touch you with love, while avoiding the possibility of them taking advantage of you.

    3. Teaching you how, what and when to share according to the relationship at hand.

    Benefit: you feel connected while expanding your comfort zone, so that emotionally intimacy becomes the spice of life – not intrusive monsters or burdens of duty.

    4. Giving you a chance to practice achieving a ‘skin’ through which you can filter your own and others reactions and experiences.

    Benefit: you connect with friends and loved ones on the basis of similarities in experience, wishes and needs. You feel an important part of their lives while being separate and safe.

     

    Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.


    Call 310. 985. 2491 to set up your appointment

    Develop the skills of emotional intimacy and feel valued and loved while still being your own person

    psychotherapy for problems with emotional intimacy, West Los Angeles
    photograph of cymbidium copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

     


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