I discovered what got in my way of having a long term relationship and was able to stay with a wonderful woman instead of running away!
“ I used to have intense relationships for short periods of time and then cool off for no reason. If the woman was not serious I worked hard to get her to want me but it never worked. I felt rejected. If a woman showed a lot of interest in me, it would put me off and I would end things. I never understood why this kept happening and frankly it was really frustrating. I was beginning to think that I would never have a comfortable long term relationship.
Just as I thought I was getting a handle on understanding my fears, I fell deeply in love. It seemed that everything was falling into place and I couldn’t have been happier. Until those fears started bugging me again. They stopped me from sleeping and gave me nightmares. Psychotherapy with Dr. Raymond helped me understand them in real time , so I didn’t run away again. I was able to stay in the relationship and overcome my fear of losing something I treasured.” Thirty-seven year old engineer.
I did everything I could to make my family love me and it never worked. Now I have learned to be myself and the intimacy I have with my daughters is precious beyond belief!
“I always wanted to be close with my family and my own children. I was sad for over 30 years that no matter how much effort I made, my father and sisters didn’t seem to care. I did everything for my daughters and felt good about that ,but sad that we had so much conflict and stress in our relationships.
Psychotherapy with Dr. Raymond helped me understand how I had made myself invisible by playing the role of an ATM or problem solver, or fixer or feeder, but was never myself. Now I have found that I exist outside these roles and that I am a good person whether I am a mother or not. I feel visible, cared for and understood. It’s wonderful having intimacy with my two grown up daughters so that we can care for each other as humans with feelings rather than as givers and takers, fixer and needs fixing. I never thought I would ever live to see the compassion my daughters now have for me and for each other. It’s the most wonderful thing that has come from my work with Dr. Raymond.” Fifty-six year old business owner.
“ It was horrifying when I couldn’t make love to the girl of my dreams.
She was so warm, understanding and accepting. I just couldn’t understand why I suddenly developed erectile dysfunction. I was ashamed and thought she would reject me. Psychotherapy with Dr. Raymond helped me unearth the fears that were interfering with my sexual functioning. I understood that I needed to put this wonderful woman to the ultimate test so that I wouldn’t have to go through the repeated abandonments of my early life over which I had no control. I learned that losing control over my body and discovering that my partner loved me even more for being vulnerable was the only way I would feel safe enough to invest in the relationship. Now that I have put words to my fears and accepted them without shame, my partner and I enjoy warm and loving intimate relations.” Small business technical advisor.
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.