Intimacy

   Audio Tips
   Book on Fear of Intimacy
   Client Stories
   Commitment
   Disgust
   Emotional Intimacy
   Guilt
   Intimacy Quiz
   Partner Choice
   Physical Intimacy
   Shame
   Trust and Betrayal


Latest Articles

  • * What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About Your Marital Satisfaction?
  • * Do You Have To Choose between Romance and a Good Mate?
  • * Your Rule About What Love is Can Bar You From Receiving it - part 10
  • * Rules About Who Makes You Happy, Makes You Angry and Envious -part 9
  • * Rules About What Makes Relationships Last Stop Them From Ever Starting -part 8
  • * Rules About Being Your Partner's Savior Harm Your Relationship - part 7
  • * Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner's Behaviour - part 5
  • * Rules About How You Should Express Your Needs Can Rupture Your Marriage- part 4
  • * Don't Ruin Your Marriage With Thorny Relationship Rules - part 3
  • * Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?
  • * Stop The Cycle of Attraction To The Wrong Person And Learn To Like The Right One!
  • * Why You Choose The Wrong Partner Over And Over Again - part 2
  • * Why You Keep Getting Attracted To The Wrong Person- part 1
  • * How To Avoid The Stress When Your Spouse Nags At You For Being Unresponsive
  • * Regaining Your Sense of Security When Your Relationship Feels Unstable
  • * Are you ashamed of your relationship and hide it from family and friends?
  • * Continual Separating and reuniting doesn't have to threaten your relationship!
  • * How perfectionism turns you into a liar to yourself and your loved ones
  • * How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication
  • * How to be happy in a relationship by tuning into your partner's needs
  • * How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs
  • * How Do You Build Trust in a Relationship When You are Repeatedly Let Down?
  • * The Main Barrier to Communication in Marriage is Fear of Listening Empathically
  • * Self-Compassion Makes You the Partner You Want to be Toward Your Loved One
  • * How to Get What You Want From Your Valentine
  • * Where to Find a Boyfriend When the Current One is No Good?
  • * Is Family Conflict Making a Friend Out of One Loved One and an Enemy of Another?
  • * Breaking Up Doesn't Have To Be so Hard To Do!
  • * Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!
  • * Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems
  • * Self-help For Couples That Actually Works!
  • * Expressing Hurt Saves Relationships While Anger Causes Relationship Breakups
  • * Getting The Most Out of Couples Counseling
  • * Sharing Emotions Promotes Bonding That Supports You In Crisis
  • * How To Make Your Boyfriend Love You More and Find a Husband In Him
  • * Should You Leave Your Partner or Stay Hoping They Will Love You One Day!
  • * Save Your Marriage By Letting In Your Partner's Support
  • * How To Trust In Relationships
  • * Save Your Marriage With Impactful Communications
  • * What Makes You Push Your Partner Away and Choose Depression and Loneliness?
  • * Dealing With a Partner Who Cannot Trust You and Insists You Are a Cheater
  • * Conflict Recovery Style Determines Whether Couples Stay Together
  • * Where Is Your Spouse When There Is No Response To Your Texts And Calls?
  • * Conflicting Secret Wishes And Motives Threaten Your Marriage Big Time!
  • * How To Deal With a Partner Who Lies And Cheats
  • * Do You Feel Abandoned When Your Partner Is With Family And Friends?
  • * Dealing With a Loved One Who Refuses To Talk When You Want To
  • * Why Women Take Longer Than Men To Cheer Up After Getting In A Fight or Bad Mood.
  • * Getting Proof That Your Partner Is Committed To You
  • * A Proven Way To Stop The Stress Of Conflict And Reconnect With Your Loved One
  • * How To Tell If Your Partner Is Showing Genuine Love Or Not
  • * How To Make Sure Your Date Turns Into a Positive Intimate Healthy Relationship.
  • * Do You Suffer In Silence In Order To Prove Your Love?
  • * How To Feel Included When You Feel Alone In a Group
  • * How To Transition Between Loved Ones Without Feeling Insecure
  • * Enjoying The Now Relationships Instead Of Waiting For Some Future Pleasure
  • * White Lies And Whoopers Make You Sick, Depressed And Cut Off From loved Ones.
  • * Why Your Ideal Of A Perfect Marriage Causes Your Finance To Break Off The Engagement
  • * How To Avoid Feeling Attacked When Your Partner Is Venting!
  • * Keeping Silent About Your Stress Ensures Your Partner is Emotionally Unavailable To You
  • * How To Prove That You Are Not The Same As Your Partner's Exes!
  • * Do You Regret Rejecting a Possible Partner and Ending Up Alone and Scared?
  • * The Two Most Serious Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
  • * Why 9 out of 10 Apologies Fail to Improve Relationships
  • * Five Ways to Find and Keep Available Partners Without Sabotaging Yourself!
  • * Four Ways To Deal With A Hostile And Aggressive Partner
  • * Ensure Your Relationship Against a Loss of Intimacy and Commitment!
  • * End Those Dreaded Fights And Enjoy Peaceful Relationships
  • * How to Manage The Guilt Of Saying 'No' To Your Partner!
  • * How to make sure your relationship makes it past the initial romance
  • * How to deal with a loved one who texts others while in your company!
  • * How to recognize the 3 prerequisites of love and feel wanted!
  • * What's the secret to being liked and popular and wanted?
  • * How to feel wanted instead of rejected!
  • * Who controls your energy levels, you or your loved one?
  • * How to stop a conversation turning into a fight!
  • * How to bring the zing back into an "okay" sex life!
  • * How come the people you date haven’t got their acts together?
  • * How to enjoy health and intimacy over the holiday weekend
  • * How to get the most satisfaction from venting to loved ones!
  • * How to make your partner want to be physically intimate with you!
  • * How to make up after a fight without giving up!
  • * How to enjoy a relationship and protect yourself at the same time!
  • * How to find the love of your life
  • * Four alternatives to withdrawing from your romantic relationship
  • * How to survive a betrayal by a loved one
  • * How gender differences in handling stress affects intimacy
  • * Three ways to share your stuff without fear of upsetting loved ones.
  • * Are you making the right kind of investment in your happiness?
  • * Why your partner falls short of your ideal partner characteristics!
  • * The gift that will make your valentine love you for ever!
  • * Why it’s a good sign if your date doesn’t want to sleep with you
  • * Is your relationship break up permanent or just a shift in gears?
  • * How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!
  • * How to deal with a partner who is down when you are up!
  • * Why your Sex Life Goes from Fantastic to Boring in the blink of an eye!
  • * Positive affirmations can damage your relationships!
  • * Why your sex life is non-existant part 2- and how to get it going again.
  • * Why Your Sex Life Doesn't Work and Three Ways to Revive it!
  • * Why men shut down and women ramp up in conflicts!
  • * Why does your loved one believe a stranger and not you?
  • * How to rescue your marriage from roommate status!
  • * Why you don't feel understood when people say they understand- part 2
  • * How to avoid having your hopes dashed when you meet your loved one!
  • * Why protecting your partner may be the worst move you ever make!
  • * Perfectionism may be ruining your intimate relationships!
  • * How to get over that "there's no point" feeling!
  • * How does your style of eye contact impact relationship satisfaction?
  • * How to get off the emotional roller coaster with your partner
  • * What makes an exciting relationship turn into a heavy burden?
  • * How to manage the pain of jealousy
  • * How to get your partner to talk when you want!
  • * Is Your Style of Flirting Working For You?
  • * What makes your partner break promises?
  • * How to stop feeling used in relationships
  • * How to stop being lonely!
  • * How to be independent and still be loved!
  • * Are you dying for affection but cringe when it comes?
  • * How to deal with the "damned if I do, and damned if I don't situation!
  • * Do you have to give up your past in order to have a loving future?
  • * How to make your imagined relationship into a reality!
  • * How a bladder infection can save intimacy in your marriage!
  • * What’s the right combination of commitment for harmonious relationships?
  • * *(How to get affection on your schedule!)*
  • * *(How to manage when your partner loses interest in you!)*
  • * How to manage rejection sensitivity and be more open to love!
  • * *(How to be loved 24/7 even if you think you don't deserve it!)*
  • * What makes you happy - people or accomplishments?
  • * *(How to turn nagging into loving connections)*
  • * Is fear of being impactful depriving you of intimacy?
  • * How to deal with the “ if you really loved me you would……..” syndrome!
  • * *(How to get your partner to love you the way you want!)*
  • * What type of self-sacrifice benefits intimate relationships?
  • * *(How to converse with your date so you both feel special!)*
  • * How to stop using hoarding as your intimacy substitute!
  • * *(How to tell if loved ones mean what they say!)*
  • * How to manage fatigue due to relationship problems
  • * *(How to get your own way, avoid guilt and still feel lovable!)*
  • * How to get more by working less at relationships
  • * *(How to deal with negative reactions you didn't intend to cause!)*
  • * Four LOVE steps for singles to turn dates into long term relationships
  • * *(How to deal with complaining loved ones)*
  • * The secret ingredients for empathy in relationships - part 3
  • * *(How To communicate that you really care)*
  • * The second secret to being empathic and boosting your relationship
  • * *(How to Speak Your Mind Without Feeling Monstrous!)*
  • * Four Ways to Share Feelings and be Empathic -part1
  • * *(How to Avoid Conflict With A Dose of Curiosity)*
  • * 7 Ways to deal with feeling 'needy' in relationships- Part 3
  • * *(Top three personal gifts to give your valentine)*
  • * Three ways to avoid feeling needy in relationships- part 2
  • * Two ways to avoid the shame of feeling 'needy.'
  • * Three ways to prevent self-defeatism from causing relationship stress
  • * Four ways to reconnect when your partner snubs you
  • * Fear of Intimacy - Five Tell Tale Signs
  • * How to avoid the same mistakes after a break up
  • * Five ways to breach a misunderstanding with your partner
  • * Do you fit the four point profile of a cheater?
  • * How to deal with controlling people in your relationships
  • * Enjoying Intimacy Like You Did In The Early Days
  • * How to Make up After a Fight and Find Intimacy


  •  
     
    “ I was devastated when I realized that my partner had a different view of intimacy than I did. It was a big shock to discover that he didn’t know what I was thinking and feeling when we were alone together. Psychotherapy with Dr. Raymond helped me realize that it wasn’t obvious what I was feeling or thinking despite the intensity of my experience and that I was giving off signals that my partner misunderstood. We have gained a richer and deeper intimacy than I ever thought possible. It‘s good to be so much more comfortable with my partner.” Thirty-two year old wife and mother.

     

    Are you sad that you feel more comfortable being sharing intimate parts of you with a long time friend than you do with your romantic partner.

    Do you want to be completely open with loved ones but have a fear of intimacy that gives control to someone else?

    Do you find yourself censoring what you say and how you say it?

    Are you wondering what your loved ones really think and feel because you believe they are hiding things or pretending
    ?

    Intimacy is more than just physical closeness or nearness. It is more than just saying everything and anything that enters your head.

     

    For intimacy to be meaningful, there has to be

    • a willingness to share all parts of you including those parts you don’t like

     

    • a trust that it will be accepted, respected and tolerated

     

    • an expectation that it will be reciprocated

     

    Psychotherapy can help you and your loved one to develop a comfort with intimacy by

    1.  Teaching you how to read each others emotional states in the moment.

    Benefit: you don’t have to guess or read incorrectly. There are fewer misunderstandings.
    Neither of you sit on hurt feelings for days that in turn interfere with intimacy.

    2. Offering you a selection of questions that you can ask of your partner to find out more about their current mood and needs in a loving way.

    Benefit: your partner feels you are genuinely interested rather than trying to catch them in a lie, trip them up or rake up the past. Guards are down and intimacy thrives.

    3. Lessening fears about losing autonomy and control over your thoughts and feelings when you become intimate.

    Benefit: you maintain flexible but sound boundaries that protects the privacy you need while allowing you to manage the flow of connection at a pace that suits you.


    4. Helping you combine emotional and physical intimacy so that they blend, complement and enrich your experience.

    Benefit:
    you enjoy all aspects of intimacy equally without fear of intrusion, or coercion. You don’t have to yo-yo from too close to distant and get stuck in the exhausting dance of extremes.
     
     
    Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
     
     

    Call 310 985 2491 and set up your appointment

    Develop a comfortable level of intimacy so that you can share yourself and receive what others have to offer you.

    psychotherapy for intimacy problems in relationships

     


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