adminla, Author at LA Westside Therapy

What’s the best way of expressing your anger without shame?

By adminla|2017-09-13T18:31:00+00:00July 20th, 2012|Blog|

Do you prefer showing your anger by giving someone the silent treatment? Now think of the time when a friend didn’t return your calls and you felt angry at being ignored. Perhaps you didn’t answer the phone when your friend did eventually call you back. You wanted to get your own back and punish your friend. It is a conscious and premeditated act of anger. Somehow this way of releasing anger is more acceptable, but not necessarily better for the relationship.

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How To Stop Anger About Your Childhood Interfering In Your Adult Relationships!

By adminla|2017-09-13T17:10:55+00:00July 19th, 2012|Blog|

Koren began to have flash backs about her own school experiences. She relived the incident when she had been wrongly blamed for throwing a paper dart in English class. Her mother had been told she was insolent and defiant. Her mother never asked Koren to tell her side of the story. Her mother believed the teacher and Koren was shamed for letting the family down. The same feelings of shame, humiliation and rage that Koren had felt at that time were washing over her now as she felt marginalized by Hector’s school Principal. As a child Koren couldn’t show or talk about her bitter disappointment and rage at not being championed. Koren was left unprotected, scapegoated and gagged.

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Why Anger is necessary – it’s how you use it that counts!

By adminla|2017-09-13T19:23:24+00:00July 19th, 2012|Blog|

For Carrie the choice felt as stark as this ‘do as she says and keep your daughter close, or be selfish and lonely, guilty and regretful for the rest of your life.’ Faced with that conflict, Carrie always chose the former. Until now. As she was being ground into the dust with no sign of reprieve, her survival instinct kicked in. Her fury at not being able to withdraw the interest on her relationship bank accounts eventually allowed her to put her needs first. Resentment topped guilt and released her anger.

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Are you addicted to fighting with your partner?

By adminla|2017-09-13T19:44:55+00:00July 15th, 2012|Blog|

Both Keith and Kim get a buzz from engaging with each other through conflict. No matter how uncomfortable they may feel during their fights, their cravings for the pay offs call the tune. Like any other addiction, it has to be fed and topped up with more conflict for the highs to be maintained.

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Anger makes you fat and keeps you fat!

By adminla|2017-09-11T17:54:53+00:00June 20th, 2012|stress|

Mimi was successful with diets when she felt strong and an equal player in the world. As soon as that fragile mood was threatened by words of conditional love, put downs, and a dismissal of her opinions Mimi felt naked and vulnerable. Food was the comforter and the weight she gained became a shield against the abuse. The thicker the armor the less chance there was of being destabilized and out of control. The armor plating was solid enough to deodorize the stench of her own chaotic and stinky feelings. The armor did such a good job that she couldn't distinguish between her own mess and that of others. It also bypassed her emotional thermostat so that she never knew when she couldn't take any more of other people's trash. Food was the best way of resetting the switch and lowering the temperature.

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About adminla

What’s the best way of expressing your anger without shame?

How To Stop Anger About Your Childhood Interfering In Your Adult Relationships!

Why Anger is necessary – it’s how you use it that counts!

Are you addicted to fighting with your partner?

Anger makes you fat and keeps you fat!