Don't you just grit your teeth and want to tear your hair out with fury when your loved ones pretend they are not angry or upset, yet make snide remarks? Don't you feel that they are trying to be better than you, by trying to be in full control of their anger, only to let it out in far more cruel ways? Aren't you longing to get them to show their rage and be equally human with you? If so then you want to have a more authentic and intimate relationship, which involves being open and upfront with your emotions, including anger.
WHY SHOULD YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR CHILD'S STRESS? 1. STRESS MAKES KIDS SICK AS ADULTS An article reported in Pediatr Adolesc Med, 2009, indicated that childhood stress that went unoticed and untreated resulted in chronic sickness when these children grew up. A further study published in Neuropsychopharmacology, 2010 revealed that chronic stress resulting in unhappy chilhoods resulted in an elevated inflammatory response to adult stress, weakening the immune system. 2. STRESS MAKES KIDS ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED WHEN THEY REACH ADULTHOOD
It's normal, healthy and appropriate to be furious when you discover that your partner cheated on you. It's good that you get worked up and are full of indignation. It's useful that your angry energy gives you so much adrenalin that you feel you can move mountains. BUT DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR THE JUGULAR AND KILL OFF THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS BEEN CRACKED OR DO YOU WANT TO TAKE CHARGE, AND RE-CRAFT THE CONNECTION THAT YOU BELIEVED WAS RELIABLE AND STRONG?
FOUR FALSE PREMISES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE YOU ANGRY AND STRESSED. 1. When you are full of anger and rage that your loved ones don't treat you with respect or consideration, chances are you expect them to read your mind. You are sure that they know what's going on for you and deliberately ignore it, making you suffer. That's what's make you angry and unloving.
gluttony from stress Are you frustrated and angry that you seem to put on weight just by looking at high calorie foods, while others consume it as if there is no tomorrow and are as thin as reeds? Then you may be under chronic stress that produces a biological marker called NPY that metabolizes your calories differently and makes you gain weight. It's not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you. You have got so used to the stress that it probably doesn't register in the same way it would for someone having a new experience. That's the problem. Your body then has to take over and try and protect you. Unfortunately it does it by making you store fat, and then you feel ashamed, guilty and even more of a failure. Relationship insecurity and helplessness is the most potent source of chronic stress.
Unable to sleep for the third night in a row, thirty-six-year-old Orrin, an investment analyst, got up and took his prescribed pain killers for his lower back pain and sciatica. The relief was temporary and he awoke from a drowsy state with intense throbbing pain down his right buttock, thigh and leg. His lower back pain made it difficult for him to get out of bed, so he used the cane he kept near him to push himself up. He was angry that the pain medications weren’t working, and even angrier that all the physical therapy and meditative exercises he performed regularly had little to no effect.
Have you ever been annoyed and frustrated that everything you learned and practiced about managing your emotions failed you at the crucial moment? It’s so disappointing when you have been to an anger management class, or spent time and money on CD’s, DVD’s and or coaches to help you master those intense feelings, only to find that you can’t access that learning when you need it the most. That’s what happened to thirty-six-year-old Hugh a film distributor over and over again when he was out in public with his thirty-four-year old second wife June, a publicist. He was very much in love with June who was beautiful, smart and caring – so different to his first wife who only seemed interested in material things and never made him feel good as a person. Yet, at one of the many parties they attending, when June didn’t go to his side the minute he called her, he felt the blood rush to his head and an irritated voice coming out of him – getting angrier and angrier with each demand he made.
Has your loved one told you that they want nothing more to do with you until you learn how to manage your anger? Are you scared that you will lose your loved one for ever, be alone and miserable for the rest of your life? Do you wish you could just cut out that angry part of you and then live happily ever after? Then you must be feeling even more angry that you can't get rid of that angry monster inside you. Watch this video and learn why you are so angry that other people make relationships with you conditional on you taming your anger!
Out at a restaurant with thirty-nine-year-old beautician Pauline and their friends, he was upset that she seemed engrossed in a conversation with Mark about a basketball game. Feeling excluded and uninteresting to her, he got scared that she would soon leave him. The vision of Pauline abandoning him brought up intense anger. He goaded her all way home about her disinterest in him during the meal. No matter what reassurances Pauline offered, he was determined to make her admit that she didn’t care for him because he was so insecure in their relationship.
Unable to have what she looked forward to, Maureen became anxious and stressed. Her allergies got worse and she had to stuff herself with Benadryl just to make it through the day. She worked hard for her money and now that she didn’t have dependent children or a boyfriend, she felt entitled to use it on herself. But she was either too busy or too sick to take advantage of her good position in life. After noticing that she continually missed out on her dreams, Maureen got angry and felt deprived. She felt as if life was taunting her with goodies and then snatching them away at the very moment she reached out for them.