Thirty-five-year-old plumber Tyler got angry with Gemma, his thirty-seven-year-old partner for inviting his brother over for the weekend pot-luck event. She knew that he didn’t get on with Roy but she kept trying to get them together. Tyler didn’t speak to Gemma unless it was absolutely necessary. He was civil in front of family and friends, but the stress was killing him. He was too tired to fight!
What is a sexless marriage? Is it lack of intercourse, or lack of any sexual contact? Is affection a part of a sexless marriage, or is touching not allowed? Maybe a sexless marriage is when there is no sexual contact and intercourse for more than a year! Is it a lack of libido , or is it intercourse that is conducted as a ritual or routine duty?
Are you a man who is an obedient, loyal, dependable guy with your female partner? Do you give her the authority to make decisions, take the lead and initiative on parenting, spending money and organizing your social life? Then you may be very conficted about having no power yourself just so you can ensure that you are loved and cared for. Maybe you just don't know which part of you to go with? What will the consequences be if you take on a more authoritative role? How will it be if you continue to avoid asserting yourself? You know that inside you there is a raging bull ready to smash everything that smacks of needing to depend on your female partner for care.
Most of us grow up with myths about what love is and ought to be like if it was real and trustworthy. We get it from fairy tales, love songs, country music, movies, folk lore and hearing our friends and family talk about their longings. We pay attention to the "happy ever after" ending in stories and dream that we too could be valuable and worthwhile enough to inspire that kind of devotional love. But inevitably we get disappointed, heartbroken, betrayed, abandoned, or have to share that love with others. We can't stand it and believe that it is not normal. Something is either wrong with the person we love, or something is wrong with us!