After a great deal of doubt and uncertainty about choosing the right woman to marry, Damien finally married his fiancé. He felt peaceful and solid. The pendulum that swung between his attachment towards his mother and that toward Leila kept still. Working on the dream images about the day of his execution and that of the alligator had soothed his conflicted soul and allowed him to make the choice that had been so stressful. The first few weeks of marriage were good. The couple settled into a routine as he went back to work and Leila became a home maker. He enjoyed being welcomed home with a nice meal. Talking to his mate about his challenges at the lab where he worked was relieving. Having company watching TV and a warm receptive body next to him at night was comforting. But three months into the marriage, Damien found himself wanting to do his own thing after the evening meal. He went back to doing the solitary things he used to do before he got married. Leila read books about married life and fed him information about what couples should do at certain points in their marriage – such as have sex three to four times a week in their first six months together. They were supposed go out with other couples twice a week, and visit in-laws at least once a month.
If you have ever felt envious in the tiniest bit you will know how it can eat your soul alive and make you unavailable for an emotionally intimate relationship. You will be so filled with envious rage that others have what you should have, deserve and have been deprived of that there is no room for anything else. On the other hand if you have felt the envious rage of a loved one thrown your way, you may be blindsided by its force and intensity. You may not be able to see where the rage is coming from, let alone understand that there is envy behind it, because to you there is no reason for it. Either way it's important that envy doesn't destabilize your relationship. Without recognition and attention to reducing it, envy shows itself in aggressive ways, turning an accepting love into one of possession.
A long awaited vacation was coming up for thirty-nine-year-old Alex who was looking forward to seeing his younger sister Fiona, 3000 miles away. He wanted to go with her to an exhibition of ancient and modern pottery that they both loved. Practicing throwing pots in a class on ceramic ware, he had made a gift for Fiona’s family using a special design with a color tint of his creation. A week before his flight to Salem Oregon where Fiona lived with her husband and two children, Alex began to imagine that Fiona would be too busy to join him in visiting the exhibits and having fun at their old haunts. He recalled previous occasions when he had high hopes of rekindling their childhood closeness, only to find that she was either non-committal, busy, or with him in body but not in spirit.