Relationship Advice Tips from Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
A is for AFFECTION and ACCEPTANCE
Just imagine getting lots of hugs, hand holds, heads on shoulders, gentle touches of reassurance and looks of love?
Wouldn’t that be satisfying if you could count on that regularly from your valentine?
Now switch and consider how much your valentine wants the same affectionate interactions from and with you!
Put that on your mental list of ways to show love and be loved.
Then take a panoramic shot of how often you and your loved one reciprocate affection as a routine way of interacting!
MAKE A PLEDGE THIS YEAR TO YOUR VALENTINE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO ADD LOTS OF AFFECTION TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP DIET
Isn’t it satisfying when your partner accepts what you are saying, trusts you and allows you to have your opinion?
Wouldn’t your valentine be overjoyed to have the same from you?
So how about avoiding those tense and nervous experiences, where you feel you have to prove yourself, convince your loved one that you are being truthful, or force yourself to be in a mood that doesn’t fit your feelings?
You don’t have to be insecure and stressed if you lean toward accepting your partner as they are, even if you don’t like certain things they do or say.
You can avoid conflict and give your loved one the same space, respect and validation that you crave by accepting them for who they are.
MAKE A PLEDGE THIS YEAR TO YOUR VALENTINE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO ADD ACCEPTANCE TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP DIET
B is FOR BUILDING BRIDGES
Wouldn’t it be nice if your valentine could make the effort to mend the gap between you when you have had a disagreement, argument or fight?
Your loved one thinks the same! They too want to know that you are willing to be the first to make a move and build that bridge of connection.
Knitting together the threads that got broken is rebuilding the bridge that connects you.
You have a chance to build that bridge with stronger thread that includes a commitment to be connected and open to your loved ones experience.
MAKE A PLEDGE THIS YEAR TO YOUR VALENTINE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO ADD BUILDING BRIDGES OF CONNECTION TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WARDROBE
C is FOR CARE, COMFORT AND CONSOLING
Imagine feeling really upset that you didn’t get a raise at work, or that your friend snubbed you at a party. You’d want your loved one to console you, comfort you and care for your hurt feelings.
That’s just what your valentine want’s too!
Often in your busy routines, it’s hard to make time for listening and tuning into the hurt feelings. Sometimes you just pay lip service and expect that your loved one will get over it. Maybe they will. But your attention and tender care makes them feel cherished and valued. That’s what gets the healing process on its way, making room for the two of you to focus on togetherness – the essence of emotional intimacy.
MAKE A PLEDGE THIS YEAR TO YOUR VALENTINE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO ADD TUNING INTO AND ATTENDING TO HURT FEELINGS IN YOUR REPERTOIRE OF GOOD PARTNERSHIP SKILLS.
AUTHOR OF ‘Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t! Fear of Intimacy: ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationships.”
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. 2015
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Disclaimer: this article is for informational and educative purposes only. Dr. Raymond is not responsible for any reactions you may have when reading the content or using the suggestions therein. Interacting with this material does not constitute a therapeutic relationship with Dr. Jeanette Raymond