Using dreams to help you manage your personal challenges by Dr. Raymond, Ph.D.
Young beautiful and exuberant Julie was a happy and contented child until her parents sent her abroad to live with better off relatives in America. Contact with her parents was limited. She made sense of it by believing that she wasn’t wanted, that she was a burden and an unwelcome intruder into her family.
Growing up with a Thin Skin
Julie did everything she could to prove she was loveable, useful and a worthy child for her aunt and uncle to rear. But she lived with the constant fear that any day, they too would tire of her and dump her somewhere else. She was an excellent student and used her teachers’s praise as a source of worthniess. She didn’t have many close friends. She was terrified that if they got to know her well, they would consider her second class goods, and find better friends.
Marriage and Children Don’t Do The Trick
Julie hoped that marriage and parenthood would give her someone to love, and that she would be loved in return. She thought that this would be her salvation. A husband and child of her very own could finally prove that she was desirable and lovable. But it didn’t work out. Her husband left, and Julie’s relationship with her own daughter was strained.
The longed for wish fades away
After years of bitter sadness that she couldn’t relate to her daughter, Julie realised that she was going to die a bitter and lonely woman. After she retired, the fear became stronger.
Then came this dream
She was in the kitchen preparing soup from a package of dried soup mix. Flames leapt out from the burners of her stove as she stirred the pot. She put her hands in the fire to rescue the soup and got burned. Later she discovered the knob and turned off the gas.
photograph copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
Julie is Given Hope and Encouragement
In her dream Julie was preparing a nourishing meal from a packet of dried soup mix. Her life was ‘dried’ up, without love, without connections, without meaning. Mixing the dried powder with water the dream says, can reconstitute her desire for genuine kinship. The dream showed her that her usual way of reaching out for love was by sticking her hands in the fire and getting burned – betrayed, let down, abandoned, disowned. Flames also indicate the intensity of her anger that she was dumped, mistreated and denied a home with her own parents. Her dream then showed her that she had a knob inside her that can turn the heat on and off. She can control the heat of the flames. She doesn’t have to get burned and spoil the ‘relationship soup’, depriving herself of a good meal. Nor does she have to eat uncooked soup – raw and unsatisfying loneliness, by refusing to turn on the gas!
The Gifts In Julie’s Dream
Julie had been repeatedly ‘burned’ by the betrayal of loved ones. Her dream indicated she could reach for the knob whenever she felt defenseless. She could have balanced relationships, OR she could hang onto the anger in the flames, be a victim, and keep getting burned. As she worked on this dream with me in a workshop, tears flowed as we put words and meaning to an otherwise terrifying dream. That was her first gift. The second is more permanent. Julie can use the insignia of the knob as a symbol of her ability to manage future vulnerable situations. She gets to have a life before it is too late.