Want your relationships to be new and better in 2012? If you try and fail to keep New Years resolutions about being a better person, and having better relationships, then just stop. It's not that you don't have the will power or motivation. It's not that you have no endurance. You just need to tune into your natural built in renewal and rejuvenation mechanisms and use them to refocus your lens on your relationships so that they become more secure and satisfying. Learn three ways you can do that without even trying and literally become 'new' by rewiring your brain and creating constant newness from the inside out.
Saying good things about yourself to yourself each day can make you feel better and more confident in the short term. But soon you need to up the ante and make the statements even more elaborate, comparing yourself to others in a superior way. If that comes across to friends and loved ones, and it does whether you say it openly or not, you are destroying your relationships. Learn how to work with your poor self-esteem in ways that bring you closer to people so that they provide the foundation on which you can feel good for ever, naturally, never needing these artificial self-affirmations again.
Your sex life may be non-existent because of the roles you and your partner have assumed that makes sex impossible and bad! If you relate to each other as unequal master and slave, boss and worker, parent and child or enemies wanting the lions share of what is available, then sex as a loving act is out of the question. Learn how to avoid getting stuck in those destructive roles and enjoy your sex life again.
If you are infuriated when you don't receive an apology when someone has hurt you then you may end up stressed and helpless in your relationships. Learn how to communicate the impact the words and actions of others have on you so that they can tailor their behavior in ways that take your feelings into account.
Are you putting your partner in a role that makes it impossible for you to enjoy a sexual relationship? You may be casting you and your partner in subtle roles that make sex a taboo. Are you looking to be spoiled and wanted to the exclusion of all others? Those wishes may be getting in your way. Learn what those roles are, why they have such a grip on your sex life, and learn how to remove them.