Want your relationships to be new and better in 2012? If you try and fail to keep New Years resolutions about being a better person, and having better relationships, then just stop. It's not that you don't have the will power or motivation. It's not that you have no endurance. You just need to tune into your natural built in renewal and rejuvenation mechanisms and use them to refocus your lens on your relationships so that they become more secure and satisfying. Learn three ways you can do that without even trying and literally become 'new' by rewiring your brain and creating constant newness from the inside out.
Saying good things about yourself to yourself each day can make you feel better and more confident in the short term. But soon you need to up the ante and make the statements even more elaborate, comparing yourself to others in a superior way. If that comes across to friends and loved ones, and it does whether you say it openly or not, you are destroying your relationships. Learn how to work with your poor self-esteem in ways that bring you closer to people so that they provide the foundation on which you can feel good for ever, naturally, never needing these artificial self-affirmations again.
Your sex life may be non-existent because of the roles you and your partner have assumed that makes sex impossible and bad! If you relate to each other as unequal master and slave, boss and worker, parent and child or enemies wanting the lions share of what is available, then sex as a loving act is out of the question. Learn how to avoid getting stuck in those destructive roles and enjoy your sex life again.
If you are infuriated when you don't receive an apology when someone has hurt you then you may end up stressed and helpless in your relationships. Learn how to communicate the impact the words and actions of others have on you so that they can tailor their behavior in ways that take your feelings into account.
Are you putting your partner in a role that makes it impossible for you to enjoy a sexual relationship? You may be casting you and your partner in subtle roles that make sex a taboo. Are you looking to be spoiled and wanted to the exclusion of all others? Those wishes may be getting in your way. Learn what those roles are, why they have such a grip on your sex life, and learn how to remove them.
If you don't value the tiny little things about yourself that make you special and unique, no one else will either, because they are hidden and not deemed important. So if you haven't felt thanked and appreciated over the thanksgiving holiday it could be because you haven't found and valued the things about you that are worth giving thanks for.
It's infuriating and stressful when your loved ones ask you for your opinion but never heed it! They keep boosting you up by wanting your advice but then drop you like a hot potato as soon as you have given your wisdom and caring. It causes conflict that makes relationships tense and uncomfortable. Learn three ways in which you and your loved one can find room for both sets of views instead of going for one judge and jury.
Hating your emotions and mistakes deprives you of the lesson they have to teach you. Benefit from tuning into their message to get the motivation you need to aim for the positive growth and relationship success that you richly deserve.
Don't go down feeling shocked and rejected. Use your surprise, anger and sadness to discover what you missed when you thought everything was just fine. Learn to read the signs before the relationship ends so that next time you will be able to act in a way that makes it work before it is too late.
When one partner shuts down and the other ramps up in a stressful conflict chances are that the men tune out and the women get heated up. Research indicates that male and female brains operate differently under stress making it more likely that couples will get frustrated and lose intimacy when they can't work things out. Learn three ways in which they can get on the same brain wave, same page and collaborate intimately on their joint problems.