Why don't you ever get what I'm trying to tell you?
When you try hard to make your self understood, to express your needs and intentions without success, your stress levels hit the roof and your ability to stay in the conversation declines.
Misunderstandings are very stressful because they make you feel powerless and hopeless. You loose faith in other people.
You expect loved ones and friends will continue to ‘miss’ the point, twist your words, ascribe motives to you that you don’t have, and not care about your feelings. What you expect is what you will experience, setting up a negative cycle of frustrating and stressful communication attempts.
Here is how psychotherapy can help you can change the stressful communication into a fulfilling exchange.
• You get live feedback in the moment that can help you can adjust and adapt your message to your advantage.
• You discover what gets you stressed in the live conversation and explore your reactions, so that you develop effective ways of communicating your intentions and needs.
You will learn:
1. How to initiate conversations with friends and loved ones so that they listen with focus and interest.
Benefit: you will develop a sense of security that you are important to the person you are addressing, and expect to be welcomed rather than fear being rebuffed.
2. How to check in with friends and loved ones to ensure that they have received you accurately and vice versa.
Benefit: you will learn how you have been received in time to correct or discuss any discrepancies. You engage in a safe dialogue which lubricates the wheels of communication.
3. How to ask questions and react to answers that bring you closer to friends and loved ones.
Benefit: you will appreciate the worthiness of the dialogue rather than mistrust in the process. You avoid the frustration that comes from hoping others will read your mind, and the disappointment when the read it wrong, or fail to do so at all.
4. How to share your frustration and disappointment when you feel ignored in a conversation.
Benefit: you increase your chances of getting the attention you want by giving others immediate feedback about your experience. You provide the information others need to give you what you require to feel equal in the relationship.
5. How to listen and respond to friends and loved ones that keep you connected.
Benefit: You will feel part of the life of those important to you and vice versa. You will find common experiences that will make you feel that you belong. In addition you will feel understood and less alone.
Copyright Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
Give me a call at 310. 985. 2491
Start learning to communicate effectively and reduce your relationship stress.