Envy makes you feel bad, causes stress and scuttles your chances of warm relationships.
Is envy the major obstacle preventing you from having fulfilling relationships? If you see yourself in the following two questions, then the answer is yes.
Do you compare your circumstances with others and feel envious and resentful?
Do you find yourself choked with envy because you didn’t have the same breaks in life as a friend, colleague or relative?
Envy is like acid, eating you up from the inside out and leaving you with a jaundiced view of life and relationships. It makes you shrivel up and stop trying.
What’s worse is that envy turns you into a wannabe thief. It makes you want to take the good stuff away from others and keep it for yourself.
Envy can blind you to what you do have, so that you don’t enjoy it, becoming a miserable miser.
No one wants to relate to an envious person waiting to rob them of their goodies, or a miser who is too afraid to share.
Psychotherapy can help you manage envy and be more available for close relationships by:
1. Helping you identify what you want for yourself independently of what others have.
Benefit: naming your deepest wishes gives you motivation, permission and energy to get it for yourself legitimately. You can feel proud and successful.
2. Helping you deal with your fear that you are going to be robbed of what little you do have.
Benefit: you are more aware of what is already in your personal safety-deposit box. You can sense that you have the key. That calms the fears and allows you to relate in a more self-assured manner.
3. Helping you understand that life’s treasures are infinite and available to many at the same time.
Benefit: you will feel comfortable giving and taking. Envy will disappear because you generosity will grow. You share and others share with you without detracting from either camp.
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
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Learn to give up envy and use your energy to give, take and enjoy the richness in relationships.