Anger and Disappointment
   Anger Quiz
   Audio Tips
   Blame Games
   Client Stories
   Conflict Quiz
   Fighting and Making Up
   Power Struggles
   Revenge and Punishment

Latest Articles

  • * Do You Have To Choose between Romance and a Good Mate?
  • * Procrastinating About an Ambition May Be the Key To Authentic Success!
  • * Rules About What Makes Relationships Last Stop Them From Ever Starting -part 8
  • * Rules About Being Your Partner's Savior Harm Your Relationship - part 7
  • * Fear Based Rules About Feeling Secure in Your Relationship Can End It! Part 6
  • * Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner's Behaviour - part 5
  • * Rules About How You Should Express Your Needs Can Rupture Your Marriage- part 4
  • * Don't Ruin Your Marriage With Thorny Relationship Rules - part 3
  • * How Your Dating Rules Make Sure You Never Find The Partner You Want - part 2
  • * Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?
  • * The Third Magnet That Attracts You Towards The Wrong Life Partner
  • * How To Avoid The Stress When Your Spouse Nags At You For Being Unresponsive
  • * Are you ashamed of your relationship and hide it from family and friends?
  • * Are your personal goals likely to save your marriage or break it up?
  • * Continual Separating and reuniting doesn't have to threaten your relationship!
  • * Two ways to get your partner to accept that they need therapy to deal with their problems
  • * How perfectionism turns you into a liar to yourself and your loved ones
  • * How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication
  • * How to be happy in a relationship by tuning into your partner's needs
  • * How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs
  • * How to manage conflict in a relationship so you don't feel prejudged
  • * Managing co-dependency in a marriage - the second five steps in learning to support rather than rescue
  • * Managing family co-dependency - the first five steps in learning to support rather than rescue
  • * Is Co-Dependency the Currency of Your Family Relationships?
  • * How Do You Build Trust in a Relationship When You are Repeatedly Let Down?
  • * How to Get Your Boyfriend Back After Throwing Him Out
  • * Sibling Rivalries in Adulthood May be Due to Invisible Childhood Trauma
  • * How to Repair Family Relationships That Get Broken With Repeated Hurts
  • * The Main Barrier to Communication in Marriage is Fear of Listening Empathically
  • * Self-Compassion Makes You the Partner You Want to be Toward Your Loved One
  • * Where to Find a Boyfriend When the Current One is No Good?
  • * Are You Ready For Couples Therapy?
  • * Is Family Conflict Making a Friend Out of One Loved One and an Enemy of Another?
  • * Breaking Up Doesn't Have To Be so Hard To Do!
  • * Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!
  • * Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems
  • * Self-help For Couples That Actually Works!
  • * Expressing Hurt Saves Relationships While Anger Causes Relationship Breakups
  • * Should You Leave Your Partner or Stay Hoping They Will Love You One Day!
  • * Save Your Marriage By Letting In Your Partner's Support
  • * Solving The Hurt Of Family Problems
  • * What Makes You Push Your Partner Away and Choose Depression and Loneliness?
  • * Dealing With a Partner Who Cannot Trust You and Insists You Are a Cheater
  • * Conflict Recovery Style Determines Whether Couples Stay Together
  • * Where Is Your Spouse When There Is No Response To Your Texts And Calls?
  • * Conflicting Secret Wishes And Motives Threaten Your Marriage Big Time!
  • * How To Deal With a Partner Who Lies And Cheats
  • * Do You Feel Abandoned When Your Partner Is With Family And Friends?
  • * Dealing With a Loved One Who Refuses To Talk When You Want To
  • * Why Women Take Longer Than Men To Cheer Up After Getting In A Fight or Bad Mood.
  • * A Proven Way To Stop The Stress Of Conflict And Reconnect With Your Loved One
  • * Why Your Ideal Of A Perfect Marriage Causes Your Finance To Break Off The Engagement
  • * How To Avoid Feeling Attacked When Your Partner Is Venting!
  • * How To Join In The Conversation Without Fearing Being Shut Down
  • * How To Prove That You Are Not The Same As Your Partner's Exes!
  • * The Two Most Serious Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
  • * Why 9 out of 10 Apologies Fail to Improve Relationships
  • * Four Ways To Deal With A Hostile And Aggressive Partner
  • * End Those Dreaded Fights And Enjoy Peaceful Relationships
  • * How to Manage The Guilt Of Saying 'No' To Your Partner!
  • * How to deal with verbal attacks from your loved ones.
  • * How to deal with a loved one who texts others while in your company!
  • * How to make that decision you have been putting off!
  • * Who controls your energy levels, you or your loved one?
  • * How to stop a conversation turning into a fight!
  • * How being unselfish is really selfish!
  • * How to handle the loss of hope that you will be loved the way you want
  • * How to make your partner want to be physically intimate with you!
  • * Should you apologize after an explosion of anger?
  • * How to make up after a fight without giving up!
  • * How to enjoy a relationship and protect yourself at the same time!
  • * How to stop explosive bursts of anger
  • * Four ways to manage the excitement and dread of family reunions
  • * Passover troubles and resurrect good times during the holidays
  • * How to survive a betrayal by a loved one
  • * How gender differences in handling stress affects intimacy
  • * Three ways to share your stuff without fear of upsetting loved ones.
  • * Why your partner falls short of your ideal partner characteristics!
  • * Three ways to manage the anxiety about pleasing your loved ones
  • * Four ways to make sure your partner values your help
  • * How to make peace without eating humble pie!
  • * How to do your thing without risking rejection from loved ones
  • * How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!
  • * How to deal with a partner who is down when you are up!
  • * Why your Sex Life Goes from Fantastic to Boring in the blink of an eye!
  • * Positive affirmations can damage your relationships!
  • * Why your sex life is non-existant part 2- and how to get it going again.
  • * Dealing with someone who won't own hurting you!
  • * How to deal with people who want your advice but don't take it!
  • * Why men shut down and women ramp up in conflicts!
  • * Why does your loved one believe a stranger and not you?
  • * How to rescue your marriage from roommate status!
  • * How to manage the frustrating urge to prove you are right!
  • * Understanding Your Panic Attacks- Part 2 - Getting Past Shame
  • * Why you don't feel understood when your loved ones say "I understand."
  • * Understanding Your Panic Attacks - part 1- Facing your dilemmas
  • * Three Ways To Stop Being Invisible To Your Partner
  • * How to trust loved ones so you don’t have to do everything yourself!
  • * How to share what's going on with you so it gets through to your loved ones!
  • * Why protecting your partner may be the worst move you ever make!
  • * How to stop others from making your stuff all about them!
  • * How to turn a volatile conflictual marriage into a happy validating union.
  • * How to bargain successfully with your loved ones!
  • * How bitterness and self-blame makes you sick and depressed
  • * How to prevent bitterness and blame from making you sick!
  • * How to deal with being blamed for everything!
  • * What makes an exciting relationship turn into a heavy burden?
  • * How to manage the pain of jealousy
  • * How to get your partner to talk when you want!
  • * What makes your partner break promises?
  • * How to stop feeling used in relationships
  • * Are you motivated by the stick or the carrot?- part 2
  • * Are you motivated by the stick or the carrot?
  • * How to be independent and still be loved!
  • * Are you dying for affection but cringe when it comes?
  • * How to deal with the "damned if I do, and damned if I don't situation!
  • * How a bladder infection can save intimacy in your marriage!
  • * What’s the right combination of commitment for harmonious relationships?
  • * How to manage two parts of you that want different things!
  • * *(How to get through to loved ones without repeating yourself!)*
  • * How to regain control and self-respect when you feel betrayed
  • * *(How to manage when your partner loses interest in you!)*
  • * How to manage rejection sensitivity and be more open to love!
  • * What makes you happy - people or accomplishments?
  • * *(How to turn nagging into loving connections)*
  • * Is fear of being impactful depriving you of intimacy?
  • * How to deal with the “ if you really loved me you would……..” syndrome!
  • * *(How to get your partner to love you the way you want!)*
  • * What type of self-sacrifice benefits intimate relationships?
  • * *(How to tell if loved ones mean what they say!)*
  • * *(How to get your own way, avoid guilt and still feel lovable!)*
  • * How to get more by working less at relationships
  • * *(How to deal with the regret of the "I wish I had said...." feeling.)*
  • * *(How to deal with negative reactions you didn't intend to cause!)*
  • * Four LOVE steps for singles to turn dates into long term relationships
  • * *(How to deal with complaining loved ones)*
  • * *(How To communicate that you really care)*
  • * The second secret to being empathic and boosting your relationship
  • * *(How to Speak Your Mind Without Feeling Monstrous!)*
  • * Four Ways to Share Feelings and be Empathic -part1
  • * *(How to Avoid Conflict With A Dose of Curiosity)*
  • * Four ways to reconnect when your partner snubs you
  • * Fear of Intimacy - Five Tell Tale Signs
  • * How to avoid the same mistakes after a break up
  • * Five ways to breach a misunderstanding with your partner
  • * Do you fit the four point profile of a cheater?
  • * Is relationship stress making your skin dry out?
  • * How to deal with controlling people in your relationships
  • * Ten Ways to Manage Holiday Family Stress
  • * How to Stop Anger From Ruining Good Times
  • * How to Make up After a Fight and Find Intimacy
  • marriage counseling

    Do you find yourself having to fight to feel powerful  in a relationship?

    Are you caught in struggles with loved ones and or friends to grab the available power and hang onto it as long as possible?

    Or do you just give in and allow others to exert their will on you, until you can’t take it any longer?

    Perhaps it seems that there is only enough power for one person at a time.
    Like a game of musical chairs, one person is left out in the cold, while the other gets to sit in a seat of power. When the next game starts you struggle to grab that powerful seat so you get to call the tune for a while.

    Power struggles in relationships create enmity and one upmanship.

    You enjoy the momentary pleasure of being top dog, but spend more time feeling angry and envious when you cede power to another.

    Co-operation, respect and intimacy get no space at the table if you are envious and fixed on taking back power after an episode of giving it away.  


    Psychotherapy can help you own and use your power appropriately in relationships by

    1. Showing you how you may give up your power to other people during an interaction.

    Benefit: you learn to be assertive on a consistent basis without having to engage in power struggles to claim your dignity and right to your opinions.

    2. Helping you discover your own sources of power that neither dominate nor subjugate others.

    Benefit: you make room for everyone to have their own personal power without feeling threatened that you have to give up yours.

    3. Teaching you how to use your rightful power in words and actions that keep you strong and solid, without having to destroy that of a loved one.

    Benefit: you don’t have to wait for someone to give you permission to have and use your own power.

    Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

    Call 310. 985. 2491. to set up your appointment

    Learn to feel powerful without being destructive or a doormat


    Bookmark and Share